He’d been here for coming up on three weeks now. A short-ish contract in the sort of sterile open plan offices he’d very much become accustomed to. Cream desks and black Aeron-like chairs. A good team. Friendly. Better than most he’d worked with but this was early days and sensibly he’d broadcast his friendly-professional persona, rather than let them let them get to know the real him. That would happen in time.

Simon was getting used to the general rhythms of the place, too. Three days mandated in the office in the name of collaboration. It wasn’t the worst. Hopefully some time to go yet until a ridiculous 5-day RTO mandate swept through the C-suite. Affecting everyone but the C-suite he imagined. There’s was Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. Days in the office, that was. Simon was happy with that. Missed the inevitable overuning engineering works on the Monday, and while Friday in was a bind, at least it was one of the quieter days so he got a seat. Got to catch up on some iPlayer or Netflix on the train before plugging in at work and tapping away.

Friday’s weren’t busy in the office. Even some of the team he was working in managed to negotiate out of it - swapping with another day, or having an appointment at home. You could hear the air con on a Friday. Normally you only noticed it by its sudden absence on at 5pm the other days he was in.

So here he was. A Friday in the office. Latest build pulled, work tickets checked, emails reviewed and culled, and ready to get cracking. 10:04am. About usual. And as usual, this milestone indicated it was time for a trip to the toilet. Simon wouldn’t say he prided himself on his regular bowel movements but he certainly appreciated not being surprised by them.

Here we go, then. Ear buds out and in the case. Push back and hit Windows+L. Grab now empty cup and head to kitchen. It was on the way, drop off the empty mug, get a refill on the way back. Left through the other door and along the corridor, first door on the right and… Wouldn’t you know it! All three traps to choose from! Joy unbounded! A bit of a bun-fight to get in to one mid-week. He wondered if its how some colleagues spent their whole day. Wondered if there were some people on the books who never actually occupied a desk. But no. It was simply a matter of too few toilets for an IT department that almost inevitably skewed male. That was changing, but not exactly at rocket speed, he mused.

Into the first. It doesn’t pay to be picky and he didn’t want to present as the sort of person who would have a favourite. That sort of behaviour is plain weird.

****

It was quiet. Obviously. That’s probably why he heard it so clearly. Now he thought about it though, he had definitely heard the noise before. A intermittent sort of keening. A bit like you’d hear whales making on a David Attenborough documentary, now he came to think of it. A wry smile played across his face at the notion. It was water pipes. Where would you even keep a whale in a building in central London. Simon let out an involuntary chuckle. Then pictured the sensible chuckle meme on the forum he frequented. Then went back to thinking about the whale/pipes. Shook his head ad finished up. He’d have to tell Jamie when he got back to his desk. It’d be the first sentence he’d uttered in the office all morning. Anywhere, actually, now he came to think about it, the family still being in bed at the time he left. A strong opener.

Leaving the stall and heading out to the sink for a quick hand wash. A quick look at the strange old man regarding him from the full width mirrors above and out the door. Circle back via the kitchen (flat white with an extra espresso shot) and back to the anonymous desk. One last thing before he started in on ticket DD-4312 which was to be today’s thrillfest. “Jamie!”. Nothing. Jamie too was plugged in and engrossed in his screen. A quick knock on the desk and another “Jamie!”. This time Jamie looked up and took off his over-ear headphones, smiling like he was pleased for the interruption despite being quite peeved about the break in concentration.

“Alright, Simon? Need help with something?”. All business. Keen to move this along and get back. Knowing from experience that Simon could easily monopolise an hour of his time in digging in to the codebase and that would put a serious dampener on him actually being able to make it out on time.

“How long have they been keeping Whales in the gents toilets, then?”

He would later think about that brief flash across Jamie’s expression. The one just before it changed to one of confusion. For now though a grunted “What?” was all he got in reply.

“In the toilet just now. Sounds likes like Whales talking or something. I noticed it earlier in the week, but it’s really loud now.”

“Yeah, strange.”, Jamie replied dissinterestedly. “I’ve got to get on, sorry. Need to be out bang on time, pick up the kids. It’ll be the pipes or whatever. Use the intranet form and it’ll find it’s way to maintenance if it’s really bothering you.”

With that, the headphones went back in and all Jamie’s attention was assiduously fixed on the screen in front of him, though in truth, no meaningful work was done by him for the rest of the day. He made it out on time though. He’d really not be hanging around late today.

****

To Be Continued…